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If it’s not like the movies that’s how it should be

Those are the lyrics to one of the only Katy Perry songs I like.

I’ve heard my father tell me time and time again that love is not like the movies, it takes time, and love at first sight does not exist.

I’m baffled everytime he tries to convince me, because I can’t believe that’s true.

I don’t want to believe it’s true.

Why then do I get butterflies when I see someone for the first time?

 

The answer is not infatuation, because infatuation cannot consume you; it cannot stop you in your tracks; it can’t make you feel whole.

I want to believe love at first sight depends on the person, because my passion for life embodies what love at first sight should be like.

I dive head first into everything with no fear, and I need to be with someone who will do the same.

I need someone to give me their all, all at once.

I need someone who won’t play games.

I need blindly stepping into the darkness.

I need an overwhelming love that consumes you.

I know that love will grow stronger, but when I’m living it I don’t want to believe that is even a possibility.

I want to know when he looks at me that he really sees me, every part of me, even the dark parts.

It might even be more important that he see’s the dark parts, because if he can see the worst part of me and still love me it must be real.

I need someone who can save me from the saddness, when I can’t save myself.

And I pray everyday that he exists.

I pray for a love that lasts a lifetime.

I pray for a love that I’m sure of, a love that takes away my anxiety about our future.

I don’t need a gorgeous boy, who buys me flowers and calls me baby.

I need a man, who holds me when I’m falling a part, a man who knows my heart.

I need a man who knows that I love the scratchy sound of a record player and the way the rain falls in July.

I need a man who contemplates the vastness of the universe with me, but understands when I change twenty times before we go out.

I need a man who looks at me like I’m the only women in the world, but has success and happiness apart from me.

I don’t want lust that blows away with the wind. I want love that cannot be shaken.

I want everlasting enchantment, and I won’t settle for anything less.

 

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