1. Ben is so sexy it causes me pain.
2. Refer to number one.
He is holding a baby, if you think it gets any cuter than this you’re wrong.
3. He wants a family, and is precious as hell. He makes me want to do this.
4. I think that I can find my Ben, and that makes me have an emotional breakdown.
6. He says things like “tell your little girls hi from me.”
7. I know girls like Olivia, and my hate for them is reignited every time she speaks.
8. Why did the producers think putting twins on the show was anything but creepy?
9. All of the girls have PERFECT bodies, and it’s not realistic.
10. Chris Harrison has not aged, and I’m starting to think he is immortal.
11. I want to go on a date with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube. Why is life not fair?
12. BEN KEEPS WEARING CLASSY OUTFITS, AND I AM TOO EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE FOR HIM TO BE LOOKING THIS CLASSY.
13. These crazies are planning their weddings on the first date, and they make us normal people look bad.
14. Lace had maybe five minutes to talk to Ben and she thinks it’s a good idea to talk about her bangs???? Honestly you know this show isn’t staged, because no one can even make that up.
15. NO ONE CRIES THAT MUCH, there must be onions everywhere.
16. No show needs to be three hours long, but I cannot stop watching.
17. I can feel myself becoming more insane and my expectations rising with every minute.
18. HE LITERALLY GOT A PICTURE PRINTED OF HIM AND LAUREN, SO SHE FELT SPECIAL AND HE KEPT TELLING HER HOW MUCH HE WAS THINKING ABOUT HER.
19. I’M CRYING BECAUSE HE IS ASKING TO MAKE HAIR PRETTIES FOR THE LITTLE GIRLS I CAN’T.
20. Everything is the most dramatic ever. I think they need to learn the meaning of most.
21. The suspense of the rose ceremony makes me more nervous than running the mile in fourth grade gym class.
22. His Instagram bio is “Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a hard battle and every second we are creating our story.” OKAY. Peace, I’m out. Take me out of the oven mom I’m done.